


Kylo and Hux in the Caves of Mercury

by orphan_account



Category: Sirens of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Harmoniums, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 23:01:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10604088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Marooned with his worst enemy/best fuckbuddy on a desolate and all but lifeless planet, General Hux makes the best of things.





	

Hux has gone completely insane, Ren thinks. He thinks it because he lacks the technology to write it down, but he would probably follow the erstwhile General into madness if he didn't at least try to preserve the illusion of time passing, of moving towards some tangible goal. So he keeps this mental log of his exploits, dull as they continue to be, actually envisions himself entering words and paragraphs into a datapad and saving each note file, locking it away securely in his brain which thus far has not betrayed him. Although he is occasionally forced to wonder if Hux's lunacy might be contagious.

“Do they have to watch?” he asks one night, in bed with Hux in the wreck of the shuttle that brought them both to this barely inhabitable rock... when, exactly, Ren asks himself, it seems like a thousand years ago now. Hux has allowed his boudoir to become infested with harmoniums, and just because the damn things are basically brainless doesn't mean Ren has to trust or like them.

“They don't have eyes,” Hux points out, not for the first time. Hux, paradoxically, has taken to exile as joyfully as the harmoniums have taken to him. He's grown sleeker, more languid, let his hair grow long, doesn't shave as often or as severely as he once did. He's put on weight, as well as a knowing and contented air that irritates Ren to no end. In Hux's demented mind, he has everything he's always wanted; he's the ruler of his own small universe at last.

“They're everywhere. They're listening to us.” Ren sits up with a sudden twitch of realization, peels a particularly bold harmonium from the back of his neck and tosses it over his shoulder. “You have no idea how much I hate these disgusting things, do you?”

“Oh, Ren, for pity's sake. They're harmless.” Hux is absolutely plastered with the things, beaming down at a pair of mature harmoniums attached to his chest, feeding on the beat of his heart. He actually pets the repulsive creatures, strokes gentle fingers over their paper-thin membranes as if they were in any way capable of differentiating between affection and indifference. The sight turns Ren's stomach, but he himself is far too much like the harmoniums; he too clings close to the beating of Hux's heart, he too covets it, gathers sustenance from it. Like it or not, Ren and whatever's left of the once mildly competent First Order general are the only two sentient beings on this far-flung and forgotten planet.

“How have you managed to get so fat?” Not a brilliant change of subject, but it distracts Hux momentarily from his precious harmoniums. Ren's feeling up the new softness of Hux's stomach, lightly swatting his thighs just to feel the slight give where before there was nothing but bone and hard gristly muscle. “You're thriving. It's repulsive.”

“And you're skin and bone.” Hux reaches up to fondle Ren's chest, which, true, has lost a great deal of definition. His formerly impressive physique has already gone to rack and ruin, thanks to the desperate conservation of rations that's become necessary; harmoniums are indigestible to the point of being poisonous, otherwise Ren would've devoured the entire population by now.

“Well, you're free to stop fucking me whenever you want.”

“I didn't say I wanted to stop fucking you.”

“Of course not. It's far too convenient.” Ren sets about de-harmoniuming Hux with great prejudice, stripping the hated creatures from his skin, taking care not to tear or crumple their useless bodies in his hands but otherwise being as brusque as possible. He comforts Hux's loneliness, and his own, as he has almost every night since their ordeal began, and slips out of their shared bed as Hux begins to snore. The harmoniums return, cover him en masse, gorge themselves on the strident vibrations of his vocal cords.


End file.
